The words I dread hearing the most when going to a restaurant are: “Are you familiar with how our restaurant works?” I believe that when Michael Winner gets asked this he replies: “Yes – I order food and you bring it.” I couldn’t agree more.

A couple of years ago a very nice man from South Africa opened a restaurant in the west end called Haiku. There were three floors with kitchens on each – one Indian, one Chinese and one Japanese. You could order from any three menus but the food would come out “when the chefs are ready”. I remember asking the waitress whether the chefs would be paying for my dinner whether I would. If they were going to pay, I’d happily let them do that but if I’m going to pay, I’ll have things the way I wanted.

The restaurant hardly lasted six months.

Yesterday I was at a new-ish restaurant run by a chef who had two Michelin stars at his previous outfit. The menu was bizarre – a list of ingredients – scallops, duck, sirloin etc. So the waitress started off with that alarm bell of having to “explain”. Diners choose the core ingredient and then the chef prepares it however he sees fit that day. So I went through the Haiku thing all over again and said I would have the sirloin grilled medium rare, served with chips and a green salad.

“Chef doesn’t do chips,” the waitress said.  I protested and the chef came out and asked why was I asking him for something so drab when he could have something much more creative. I told him I was a fan of his creative dishes which I have enjoyed in the past but I wanted to see how a top class chef does something simple. Grudgingly, he agreed. It was a great steak and certainly the best chips I’ve ever eaten – dusted with herbs and garlic and quite delicious.

I told the waitress that they should open a chip ship – it would do really well. And then I thought, “Oh no – I’m turning into Michael Winner!”

I absolutely agree, Iqbal.  In my opinion, a good chef should have a perfect balance of skills and secrets in order to satisfy his/her own soul and that of the customer's.  Cooking is an art which is meaningless without an admirer!  A true chef will always try to please the customer no matter how small or simple the request. 

You know what I am going to say, Iqbal.

Its the cult of the chef. OK, so I reiew restaurants but I am an ordinary punter. Eating out isn't cheap. We want to spend time eating good food and to feel special. Or are we there for the benefit of the chef. Is it not enough that we pay the bloke. He isn't doing us a favour. Its should be an balanced exchange of money for service. We will admire and congratulate but a restaurant doen't have to be a fan club. Its gotta be about the food.

Thank you, Iqbal - I totally agree.  We all want chefs to be creative, but, as the ones who pay, are entitled to know what the general effect will be.  I prefer the taste of the food itself to come through, with coatings and sauces building on that.  I have just watched Lawrence on Saturday Kitchen - I'll be in for the oated whiting soon!